The Portland Mercury Presents: Your Holiday Office Party!
This event has passed.
Attention all Portland employees:
You are cordially invited (attendance is mandatory) to the Portland Mercury presents Your Holiday Office Party (attendance mandatory). In a hollow attempt by management to boost office morale, we will be providing the following entertainments suggested to us by highly paid human resource consultants:
1) Liquor and Beer
2) Rhythmic dancing to Silent Disco (spun by disc jockey DJ Gregarious), performance entertainment by Sex Life, and compulsory hosting by Gabe Dinger
3) Secret Santa raffle for charity (a benefit for Right 2 Dream Too!)
4) A "make-out" cubicle
5) Food things
6) Photo booth and a complimentary Xerox machine that can be used to photocopy one's buttocks or genitalia (SUSAN! ASK HUMAN RESOURCES TO CHECK ON THE LEGALITY OF THIS-STAN)
7) Members of management getting embarrassingly drunk and dancing wildly with their neckties tied around their heads.
Semi-business attire encouraged. (Neckties and pantyhose a plus.) NEW! There will be an Ugly Tie/Horrible (Panty) Hose contest. Come dressed to impress/mortify.
Please enjoy this night of fun with your fellow Portland co-workers at the most enjoyable office party of the season! (Again, attendance is mandatory.)
Sincerely and best holiday wishes,
THE MANAGEMENT
Facebook Page (Form #462-X)
$12 advance presale, $18 door
You are cordially invited (attendance is mandatory) to the Portland Mercury presents Your Holiday Office Party (attendance mandatory). In a hollow attempt by management to boost office morale, we will be providing the following entertainments suggested to us by highly paid human resource consultants:
1) Liquor and Beer
2) Rhythmic dancing to Silent Disco (spun by disc jockey DJ Gregarious), performance entertainment by Sex Life, and compulsory hosting by Gabe Dinger
3) Secret Santa raffle for charity (a benefit for Right 2 Dream Too!)
4) A "make-out" cubicle
5) Food things
6) Photo booth and a complimentary Xerox machine that can be used to photocopy one's buttocks or genitalia (SUSAN! ASK HUMAN RESOURCES TO CHECK ON THE LEGALITY OF THIS-STAN)
7) Members of management getting embarrassingly drunk and dancing wildly with their neckties tied around their heads.
Semi-business attire encouraged. (Neckties and pantyhose a plus.) NEW! There will be an Ugly Tie/Horrible (Panty) Hose contest. Come dressed to impress/mortify.
Please enjoy this night of fun with your fellow Portland co-workers at the most enjoyable office party of the season! (Again, attendance is mandatory.)
Sincerely and best holiday wishes,
THE MANAGEMENT
Facebook Page (Form #462-X)
$12 advance presale, $18 door
